A Day In The Life Of The Oblivious Ape
Friday, February 29, 2008
FAAARRRKKK.
WOOOOOOOOOSAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!


BURNOUTBINGEBURNOUTBINGEBURNOUTBINGE!!!!!!!!

BURNOUT BINGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


Fark, I am SO hooked onto this track by N.E.R.D titled Rockstar, which should be playing on your speakers right about now. PLAYING BURNOUT IS ECSTACY WITH THIS TRACK AS A BACKGROUND SONG!!!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA


MOREBURNOUTMOREBURNOUTMOREBURNOUT!!!!

SUPAAAAAACHARGGEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Damn, I love my PSP. XD

Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Say wha...?



What Hafeez Means



You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.



You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.



You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings.

You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun.

Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them.



You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.







You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience.

You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along.

But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?


It's scary when a website knows THAT much about you.

0_0

Monday, February 25, 2008
Blah.
Words cannot BEGIN to describe how monotonous this job is.

Sigh.

The things one does for money.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Dawn of War: Suckstorm.
Okay, here comes the first game review ever to grace the pages of the Oblivious Ape's blog.

Dawn of War: Soulstorm DEMO.






This game is any S & M addict's dream: Aliens who delight in torturing and mutilating, as well as female super soldiers clad in power armor. Suffice to say, the demo did not deliver as much as I would have expected it to.

Let me first start off with my gripes: The Dark Eldar are seriously WEAK. I mean, the basic warrior weaponry does shit to a normal Space Marine. Concentrated fire from a fully re-inforced group of Dark Eldar Warriors and it's is still nigh-impossible to bring down a group of just 4 Space Marines. What the fuck's up with that? I'll have to wait till I can build the Wych-Cult Arena and get me some Wyches before the battlefield is really evened. Even THEY take a long time to bring down a squad of Space Marines, let alone Space Marine Terminators. I hope this issue is worked out by the time the full game is released.

My second gripe: The abilities do squat against the Dark Eldar's enemies. I mean, seriously, the main gist of these abilities are that they mostly just weaken the enemies' morale as well as make it easier for them to be killed. Because the premise of the race is torture, the abilities pretty much just 'cook' the enemy instead of straight out killing them. And that pretty much bites for me. I mean, the Eldar are much more fun to play with, and that's pretty rare, coming from me.

Now for the good points. Finally, a jump unit that is relatively effective against vehicles and buildings. The Dark Eldar Scourges are awesome in the game. Equip them with Dark Lances and watch them wreak havoc on vehicles. The damage is only substantial at best, so don't expect too much.

Last thing to note: Dark Eldar do NOT do well against Space Marines in the demo. You'll probably be struggling just to make a dent in their forces. I'm not much of a micro-manager; maybe that's why I'm not much of a Dark Eldar fan. Which is why the demo left me pretty much frustrated instead of satisfied. I've yet to see how the Sisters of Battle fare though. I leave that up to you guys to decide.

Overall rating: 2.5 / 5

Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Woah.
I just had THE most morbid of epiphanies.







'Our increasing love for art will inevitably lead to the destruction of our society.'








I realize this idea was first explored in Warhammer 40,000 with the Eldar and the emergence of the splinter race, the Dark Eldar.

Will elaborate on it further when I've got my 12 hours of 'beauty' sleep. XD

Oh yeah, Taiwanese show hosts who try to criticise Singaporean English as well as glorify their 'marvelous' standard of English in comparison to ours, should just go and fuck themselves before they even THINK of raising the topic.

Saturday, February 16, 2008
CHEEEBYEEE!!!!
School's out, bitches!!!

Now to say hello to a host of after-semester activities, namely gaming, slacking, and taking pictures during the Freshmen Orientation 2008.

Whooptie doo.

So the day was spent showing around this Hong Kong exchange student named Angela around the sights and sounds of Tampines. (After the slew of tests, of course. Curse you, MM Prin.) Uncomfortable at first, we showed her how to get to Jupiter Cafe from her hostel, which was bangin' , by the way. She's 21, but she looks 17. Kinda rare on a person in Singapore nowadays.

Anyways, we then got her to Tampines Mall (after MUCH waiting for little miss Dawn to finish her wittle fish and chips.) where the girls showed her around the mall while we got the tickets for Jumper for the evening.

Praba handed us a nice surprise on Friday; said it was a late Valentine's Day present cum end-of-year gift. Turned out it was a customised badge for each of us, with our individual pictures on our respective badges. Real nice, Poobah. Really.

Here's a good pic of it:

As I always say, it's the thought that counts. In this case, a LOT of thought is involved. XD

It's pretty neat...now, if I can only decide on a place to pin it up...


EDIT:

FINALLY, I'm getting down to the blog post. It's been two MASSIVELY tiring days, but I assure you, it was WELL worth it.

So it was Saturday, the proverbial day where the capricious trio of me, Praba and Dhini (don't laugh, now.) were tasked to take out the UWA exchange students for a round around town. The group was made up of Simon, Kate and Jess; all of whom were Australians, Angela, the girl from yesterday, as well as Kenny, a Malaysian. After waiting for the girls to freshen themselves up, we head down to Tampines Bus Interchange to get the two Aussie girls their EZ-Link cards.

One thing about the students: I simply CANNOT believe the so-called 'service' our school provided. I mean, FUCKING COME ON! The very least you could do for them was to receive them and pick them up at the airport. But NOOO. Just let them get off the plane, and figure out for THEMSELVES how to fucking get to Temasek Polytechnic ON THEIR OWN. Yo, lugnuts, isn't it obvious, or haven't you noticed THEY ARE NOT SINGAPOREAN. You're lucky they got connections in Singapore. Way to keep up the Singaporean reputation, TP. Way to FUCKING GO. Might I add, they do NOT have any cooking utensils whatsoever in their hostel apartments. Uggh.

As the girls wanted to go do some shopping (Obviously.) we headed down to Orchard Road to bring 'em to some of the biggest shopping hotspots that can be found on this little red dot. (Right back at ya, Mahathir.) But first, we grabbed a bite at Food Republic in Wisma Atria. Apparently, the Aussie girls are very health-conscious. And they seemed to like Chrysanthemum Tea...a LOT. I'm telling you, the food there is hardly worth it. But, what the heck. They were STARVING.

After lunch, we followed the girls around while they did some window-shopping. We met Yvonne at Topshop, as well as a very distracted Dhini after HER lunch. The girls spent ages there, before we headed down to Takashimaya where they were positively drooling when they heard of the Zara outlet there. As they shopped...and shopped...and shopped...and shopped, the guys went for a piss, walked around the positively high-end first floor. We then waited for Simon who decided to come later in the afternoon.

So more shopping at Far East Plaza, we then took a bus down to Marina Square where Dhini decided to bring the whole bunch of us to watch the Annual Chingay Parade. Apparently she knew of a shortcut, and ended up taking the whole lot of us one whole big fucking round to the place, only to find that we didn't have a good view over there. So we FINALLY found a nice spot by the road barrier outside of Marina Square.

It was a good half-an-hour before we actually got to see something. It was WORTH IT. The F1 Race Car showcase was phenomenally AWESOME. The VREEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOMMMM as they screeched past where we were was.....jolly good. Damn, I wish I could see that again...

Actually, I could! Here's a vid, courtesy of the great Poobah.



And here they are, before the cars rushed past.

From left to right: Kate, Jess, Simon, Kenny and Angela.

After dinner, Kate caught some kind of throat infection. Praba, as well as Nicholas Lai who came...wait, I forget. But he came. LOL. Anyway, they brought her and Jess back home in a cab. Hope you get well soon, Kate!

Boy, am I pooped. I'm gonna miss you guys.

Thursday, February 14, 2008
Moolah
Money.

How valuable can a thing so fragile be? (Unless you count in coins, of course.)

India Ink on paper, modeled into intricate, elaborate, coded designs. A little bit of glitter paper here, a coffee stain they so conveniently call a 'watermark', and oh, I almost forgot...the ever-present hypnotizing dollar-sign-and-digit.

There you have it, money.

Just because some machine prints out a piece of paper and labels it with a "$50" sign, it's worth 50 bucks? Can someone PLEASE tell me where the logic in that is? Oh, oh, maybe it's about the BRANDING.

Right, right. Putting Mr Yusof Ishak's face on a piece of paper automatically makes it WORTH something. Riddle me this: Why then are there different values when they ALL have our first President's face on them?

Fuck that shit.

Every thing's breaking down. My mom's stalling from buying me things I really need. I don't have a fucking job.

I feel OBLIGATED.

I don't wanna feel OBLIGATED. Not until I get job, anyway. Now, with a job, I could pay off those obligations. And it doesn't help that this feeling of obligation sets in - and sets in HARD - every FUCKING TIME I see her face.

Ayah, why now.







I need a job.
I need money.
I need a JOB.

Now you know.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008
NOOOOOOO.
I know this is probably old news to MOST of you, but...

BURKE DIDN'T MARRY YANG!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!












*sniffle* ='(

Sunday, February 10, 2008
Fuck you.
Okay, now that shops island-wide have started to open up, I've got beef with another societal group:

PEOPLE WHO BLAST MUSIC FROM THEIR PHONE / MP3 SPEAKERS IN PUBLIC BUSES.

You know what, fuck you. That's right, I'm looking at you noobs: dipshits fresh out of Secondary 3 who try to look cool but fail, poseurs with hair that looks like they put Viagra gel on them, etc. You get the fucking picture.

Not only are they a damn nuisance to the general public, they have HIDEOUS taste in music. But you know what, that's just my opinion. If you're 15 and still stuck on Avril Lavigne's When You're Gone and Apologize by Timbaland feat. One Republic, I'd say you're pretty washed up. And for you Cheena dickweeds out there, 'washed up' in the Ape's dictionary simply means 'fucked'.

You know what, I 'respect' your taste in music (and I say that with much distaste.) but you don't need to publicly advertise your love for passe artistes such as AVRIL.

"Hey, all you people whom I presume have no musical taste whatsoever! Listen to the type of songs I like! Isn't Shayne Ward so COOL? I know he's cool because I listen to him! I'm cool! Avril's cool too! Because I listen to her! Look at me play her songs on my phone! My speakers are so cool! Because they're MY speakers! Oh WOW!"

That just makes you an UBER NOOB. Because of that, both Shayne and Avril are probably vomiting blood in their high-end sinks right about now. And for that, you shall receive a commemorative plaque with the words 'Fuck You.' inscribed on them. You're welcome.



Oh yeah, I'd like to extend some kudos to the creators of Ctrl-Alt-Delete, a daily comic strip that tells the story of your average video-game geeks Lucas and Ethan, and the people around them. It was this comic strip that taught me the difference between 'Newb' and 'Noob'.

(That's right, you Maple-lovers, there IS a difference.)

A 'Newb' is a gamer who genuinely is unsure about a certain aspect of a game, and is not afraid to admit so. With careful guidance and cultivation, a 'Newb' will grow to become an extraordinary gamer.

A 'Noob' is a plain fucker who acts like he knows everything in the game. Face it, you don't. So stop acting like it. You're a noob; that's insult enough.

Go ahead and check out the Ctrl-Alt-Del strip here:

Ctrl-Alt-Del

Saturday, February 09, 2008
Hey!
Wow, that figures.

I just realised how long I haven't been updating: When I enter blogger.com in the address panel, it will usually take me to the dashboard. Just now, it asked me to log back in. Yeah, baby, I missed you too.

Don't mind my relatively sarcastic sense of humour. Maybe I've been watching too much American Dad. Roger the Alien just KILLS me. XD

"These Chocodiles, Francine...Oh my god, these Chocodiles, OH MY GOD...Francine, these Chocodiles, oh my god."

Now you get the kind of humour I enjoy. Hear that little 'ding'? It's your internal body bell signaling to you about your decreasing IQ. Good for you.

On a side-note, Don and Drew are the BOMB. So, Praba, did I get you addicted yet? Muahahahah. No one can deny the gut-busting prowess of that satirical goshdarnit duo. Yumbo.

Damn it, WHEN WILL CHINESE NEW YEAR END???

I can't buy food.

I can't buy stuff.

I can't go to the fucking arcade when I want to.

IS IT SO HARD TO OPEN YOUR FUCKING SHOPS???

I mean, keeping a shopping centre closed for 3 whole days is FUCKING ridiculous lah. Don't you people want your revenue after you've given your children and unwed relatives big fat ang baos? Well then, a Gong Hey FAT CHOY to you TOO!







I want a big fat ang bao.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Yay.
Remember those times when you felt really bored?

When your favourite drama serial could no longer satisfy those effeminate urges?

When cartoons no longer gave the kick they used to?

Well, now you can kiss those times goodbye, with the new AutoMotivator!

For the times when you are REALLY bored!

Let's see some of the works produced by the AutoMotivator!





























































(All pictures are copyright of The Oblivious Ape. =D)


Now, with just a few humorous pictures and a smart-ass quote, you can motivate yourself out of those boredom blues. Make your own with the AutoMotivator! today!

Also, check out GeneratorBlog for more widgets!

Heheh.

Sunday, February 03, 2008
FARK.
Here I am,

Stuck on my seat,

In front of my laptop,

Swimming in vandalism and loansharks,

Typing bullshit like th........









*snore*












........snorghr, Wha...?
Oh right, where was I...

IWA's almost done, although the quality can't be vouched for. LOL
There's still the Project slides to do up.

There is, however, another pressing matter I absotively MUST bring up.

The songs we have come to love are being RIPPED OFF, by Chinese artistes, no less!

Just now, I was busily paying for stuff at the cashier in Popular, when suddenly this HORRIBLE Chinese rendition of 'Who Let The Dogs Out?' , originally by the Baha Men, came playing on the PA system. I mean , c'mon Chinese dudes!!!

You guys are fucking supporting unoriginality in music, you fucking get me? Don't even get me started on the mass production of Chinese singers...

Let's list out the songs that have so far been totally ripped off and shamelessly aired.

And you call yourselves MUSICIANS. Shameless asswipes. Pfft. to you.

.The Welcome Party.
Hey there.
I believe every visitor here deserves their own fanfare.
and now, for some music...


MusicPlaylist
Music Playlist at MixPod.com

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Hafeez.
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Drop a tag, will ya?

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