Well, since I really really REALLY have nothing better to do on this unusually warm Monday, I decided I probably should do some write-ups on a couple of movies I caught over the weekend.
First off, let's review Paul Blart: Mall Cop.
Seeing Kevin James on the poster as well as watching the really promising trailer really made Suzie and me decide that yeah, this is probably a movie worth watching. After all, would anyone doubt the likeability and humor value of an actor whose various acting stints include Hitch and King of Queens?
And worth watching, it was.
Fat jokes aside, Paul Blart is quite the relatable character. Granted, hypoglycemia, of which he suffers from, isn't quite the disorder one would readily link to the fat and overweight. However, this is a guy who has the passion for whatever it is that he does, be it his job as a security officer (Yes, security OFFICER, not security GUARD.) at the local mall or...well, his job as a security officer at the local mall. So the dude's basically gotta get a life. =S
Enter Amy, a kiosk store owner in the mall played by Jayma Mays. You might remember her from Epic Movie as Lucy. Paul gets infatuated, tries to woo her one way or another bla bla bla...moving on.
A plot to rob the mall slowly unfurls about halfway through the movie, initiated by none other than Veck, a security officer trainee whom Paul is tasked to. And, I have to tell you, Veck is one of the most deadpan and uninspiring villians to have ever hit the silver screen. His sarcasm falls flat on its face everytime he tries it, although I do give him props for staging such an elaborate robbery (which ultimately was a PHAIL. EKKK.).
Nevertheless, if you're looking for laughs, this movie does not disappoint; although much of it is achieved at the expense of Kevin's dignity. Oh well, who ever said comedy was easy, right?
Next up on the list is Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li. *groan*
What can I say about this movie that ISN'T bad? Hmm, let me see...nope, nothing's coming up.
Oh wait, there's that hawt Kristin Kreuk as Chun-Li. Oh right, it's Kristin Kreuk as Chun-Li. -_-" Ba-dump-pssh.
Seriously, the movie is riddled with failed homages to the franchise, absolutely disgusting B-grade acting and KRISTIN KREUK AS CHUN-LI. Can somebody get that casting guy some glasses please?!
Really. Gosh.
And the biggest gripe I have about this movie, especially as a non-Mandarin speaking individual, is the LACK of subtitles for the Mandarin dialogue. Seriously, if a quarter of the scenes in your movie has your characters speaking in Mandarin, you might wanna think of putting in some frackin' subtitles for the benefit of the general audience. DUH.
And it's a pity, 'cos the movie has some pretty good veterans in the industry acting in it: Neil McDonough (I remember him most from his role in Minority Report and, more recently, Desperate Housewives. Don't ask.) and Michael Clarke Duncan (That big heffa from The Green Mile. Gotta love a huge black guy in a movie.).
I really can't say anymore 'cos the more I think about it, the harder it gets to keep that puke down. A good idea for a movie disfigured by bad directing and even worse scripting, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li does not redeem itself in any way.
