No, Ma, put the phone down. This does NOT qualify as a mental disorder.
Or does it...
Anyway, it just came to me around yesterday evening that I really am an unorthodox Malay guy.
Then again, what IS the orthodox Malay guy?
Well, I've got a checklist here, totally self-constructed on what I think makes up the average Malay dude.
He has to be:
- Extensively knowledgeable on local music legends.
- More comfortable conversing in (albeit, broken) Malay than English.
- Involved in a Uniformed Group at some point in his academic life.
- Be actively involved (or interested, at least) in sports, particularly soccer.
There you have it, my take on the average Malay guy. Of course, there's definitely gonna be some massive social errors in there.
Now to see how that compares to me:
- I've heard a couple of oldies, and maybe know some band names; never heard the music though, and I don't think I'll ever be interested.
- English, or Singlish is definitely my more comfortable medium. And yes, I am adamant about Singlish being an actual language, bastardization or otherwise.
- Life Sciences Club??? WTF WAS I THINKING??? *smacks forehead*
- Bleh. Sports is overrated. Occassionally, yes, I do indulge in it, but no point being a fanatic.
There you have it, the Oblivious Ape in four points.
No offence intended; I just tell it like it is. And, just from that, it already seems like the majority of us are like the products of some massive social engine making us out from the same mold; we all look exactly identical. And it seems like I got rejected during quality control.
Am I disappointed about being unorthodox?
A little, I guess. It sucks when your friends are talking about subjects you've never had any knowledge about, and you can't join in the conversation even if you tried because of that. Maybe you can, and maybe it'll work, but in the end one thing's for sure: it'll still be awkward. And you're really hoping it isn't gonna hamper the relationship in your struggle to conform.
But socialisation is really a lifelong process, isn't it? Over time, you learn how to accomodate the people around you into your own little social circle, and they learn how to accomodate you into theirs. Maybe it'll turn out positively, maybe it won't.
So in a way, I'm not disappointed about how I chose to live my life. It's given me a different outlook on it, and I like being different. Goshdarnit, it's what makes me ME. Yeah, I can change; that still depends on who I interact with.
At the end of the day, though, it'll be Muhammad Hafeez bin Zainalabidin that I'll be coming back home as.
Yep, alone at home. With incoherent thoughts in a post. I still need time to work on that one. =P
