Yesterday also got me thinking a lot. Sambateria had this picnic/get-together so I guess we really got to know each other a bit better outside of our gigs and practice sessions. We had the works there: a super-massive potluck buffet, sing-along sessions (yes, sing-along sessions), frisbee games, fishing, and generally goofing off at the nearby playground. As we finally expended our last vestiges of adrenaline and youthful energy, Surya, Aiman and I sat at the breakwater to chill-out and chit-chat. And it was then that it finally hit me:
I have not lived a single day in my entire life.
I may be exaggerating, but I do believe it's true to some extent.
I have not gone fishing before; I've had only one relationship so far in my 19 years of existence on this earth. I haven't gone on some Outward Bound camp to do some really cool shit like kayaking and...well, camping; and I can't say I've smoked before. I'm still divided in my personal reasons for such a decision - salvaging my health, or self-imposing deviance? Right now, I think it's leaning towards the latter. Hell, at any moment in time during practice, more than half of the people in Sambateria have a ciggie between their lips.
I have not gone to a theatre production before; I haven't actually learned to play the guitar; I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO A COUNTRY OUTSIDE OF FRICKIN' MALAYSIA.
See what I mean? These would probably seem like trivial matters to some of you readers, but in this regard, I'd say it really is the little things that count. I definitely want to tell my grandkids in the future that I've screwed the rules and lit up before, and I'd want to be able to serenade a future special someone on that super special day.
But I figure hey, I'm still 19. God-willing, I've got a whole long life ahead of me, and I'd really want it to turn out to be as meaningful and worthwhile as possible.
So, does your life have meaning?
