Wow.
I've spent three years of my life toiling, slaving - and, admittedly, enjoying myself - at an institution that's probably not gonna reward me as gratuitously as it did a decade ago and now all of that just...ends?
Wow.
Make that a double Wow. With extra cheese and pickles please.
Dig my rhymes yo.
It just feels...surreal, for lack of a better description. I don't really know how to feel about all this. When you get used to seeing the same goddamn people for 3 years in a row (and who will be the few closest friends I would have ever made, I'll admit) only to just have that routine jerked away from you in one swift motion...it kind of leaves no room for me to develop any kind of sentimental emotions.
It's kind of sad, you know...to know you're not feeling what others probably are right now. Especially when that emotion is supposed to be hardwired into you and activated when such a situation comes by. You'd think, "Hey, is there something wrong with me?".
In short, you start to doubt yourself. And this would be a highly disadvantageous time for me to start feeling that way about myself. For fuck's sake, I'm heading off to serve the nation in a couple of months and after that...who knows?
You know that pit in your stomach when people ask you "So what are you gonna do after this?" I don't have beef with you people; I just hate the pit. I hate being uncertain; it fucks up my life worse than a Mega McGangbang.
Yeah, try Googling that.
But then, it just hits me. I've held on to a simple principle: Live for the moment.
Granted, it's a pretty unsafe principle to live by, but right now, it's really what works for me.
So fuck uncertainty.
The class is having a gathering on the 24th after my paper, and I'm going. See where we're all going, now that our tertiary education is over.
Then maybe, I'll start missing you guys.
Crap.
