I know.
Damn it, Life, don't you have at least one shred of direction left to spare? No?
Not even the tiniest dregs?
Fuck.
In other news, you know how they say "Once you go black, you never go back"?
Well, right now, this is me saying "Once you've been in a relationship, it FUCKING HURTS to go back".
A hurt that's more like a wart-on-the-sole-of-your-foot-that-never-really-goes-away kind of hurt than a stab-to-the-chest kind of hurt. One's fucking annoying and lasts forever, while the other hurts like a bitch but is done and over with quick.
I feel like I'm Adam tasting the forbidden fruit for the first time, experiencing the sweetest sensations and enjoying them so much to the point where I couldn't get enough of it. Then, like anything you can't get enough of, it became an addiction. I was an addict, for this intangible they call 'Love'.
You wanna know what I call it? Emotional Crack.
And once you're off it, you recede into this cold turkey state, craving for more to satiate the appetite of that little monster you've bred within you out of that addiction. But you decide to exercise restraint to show yourself and other people that you ARE still in control of that fucking monster. And maybe, just maybe, that you're not that desperate.
And so I look at all these couples around me, and I'm telling you: I ENVY YOU BASTARDS.
You have, like, a lifetime supply of emotional crack! All the crack you'll ever need!
Hell, if I could I'd ask some of you if you could share it with me, but unfortunately emotional crack doesn't work that way. Well, for some people it does but to me, that's just wrong.
So like any self-respecting addict, I'll have to earn it for myself. But I'll be damned if it didn't cost me SO DAMN MUCH every fucking time!
You emotional crack dealers need to do some market adjustments pronto. Geez.
